Solitude.

It seems like I would be missing everybody and craving their company but I've been relishing my own this afternoon. Honey is working with Sugar and Sweetie is moving toward Norway via Copenhagen so it's just Tweetie and me today. I've been enjoying a series of mundane tasks: cooking, reading, doing some work for the business, discouraging the squirrel from the bird feeder, watching the rain. I had determined to clean my room today, but never got there. Enjoying iTunes radio: Public radio out of LA and now Magnatunes Renaissance and Baroque music. Reading some blogs and watching the rain some more.

Somebody just walked by on the street. With a dog.

Yeah, it's probably a boring read but what a rich and full afternoon it's been in my universe.

This warrants another post today. Sweetie called! (Sweetie is my first born, Honey is #2). He sounded great and exhausted. They watched the stage final yesterday only 5 feet from the finish line so he was up close to Lance. Today after sleeping in the bus station, they walked 8 miles up L'Alpe d'Huez (6% grade), watched the race and walked 8 miles down. At least they weren't alone: I heard there were 900,000 people on the mountain. Tonight they are sleeping in the city park along with all the other cycling fans without rooms.

Sigh. Now I can have a good night's sleep.

Recently at the food bank, I took several calls from people who need food. The place where I volunteer is one that provides food to agencies who then provide food to individuals. One lady called for her mom and I gave her a list of numbers to call. Her mom then called back and said no way was she going to call all those people - she didn't know them and anyhow, she's disabled and she needs someone to bring her food now cause her daughter is at work. A guy called in and was getting food stamps that were taken away, then Emergency Family Assistance cut him off, now he needed food. A cheerful lady called to find out where to get food, too. She didn't sound down and out, just cheerfully interested.

I volunteer at a food bank because I think that redistribution of food would handle a lot of the problems on this planet. I'm a vendor in some large grocery stores locally and I see food dumped in the trash bin Every Single Day. And meanwhile, all people starve in the Sudan. The problem with volunteering in this food bank, is that most of the people I see come in are chubby or at least not thin. The two people above who called are probably worried about getting food, but they had attitude, you know? I imagine that the people in the Sudan are hungry without attitude. But I'm going to continue helping out as a push in the general direction. Maybe some of these chubby hungry people will feel satisfied enough to turn around and help some other hungry people who are not so chubby.

No matter where you stand on the war, this charity seems worthy of support:

Aid to Wounded Soldiers

Today was a first. I got my first email from Sweetie, who is spending a few days in Paris. They saw the sights today and ate lunch in a cafe off the Champs Elysees and dealing with the elements of a hot and humid city. Off to Lyon tomorrow.

Having one's first born across the Atlantic for the first time does make one pay attention to all things east of one (if you live next to the Rocky Mountains).

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::Sigh::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

There are times when you just have to close the door. My tendency is to leave it open a crack, but sometimes, you just have to close it.

That lovely wet, sprinkly, green, lush June is gone and Dry Heat has moved into Colorado. It's 99º outside with 13% humidity. I can put clothes out to dry on the line and they will be finished in 20 minutes. I can go places with wet hair because it will be dry by the time I get there.

We set up the tent in the back yard yesterday. It's too hot to sleep inside and I am resolutely against buying an air conditioner for 3 weeks out of the year. It was cooler and dark and just lovely until the racoons woke me up by rattling around on the porch. At least I think it was racoons. I hope.

We have a week of high temps and no rain. Thank goodness for that wet, sprinkly, green, lush June we had. The reservoirs are full.

I've decided to list my iTunes playlist. It's been a struggle deciding to do this since it's such a personal thing. Do I really want people to know that I sing along to Nas? It's time to bear my soul:

Mornin' by Al Jarreau
Embraceable You, Billie Holiday
They Can't Take That Away, Billie Holiday
God Bless the Child , Billie Holiday
'Taint Nobody's Business if I Do, Billie Holiday
Ain't Misbehavin', Billie Holiday
Stormy Weather, Billie Holiday
Presence of the Lord, Blind Faith
Beautiful, Christina Aguilera
Badge, Cream
I Believe, Fantasia
Grazing in the Grass, Friends of Distinction
I Can, Nas
Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen
Killing Me Softly with his Song, Robert Flack
Soak up the Sun, Sheryl Crow
Safe and Sound, Sheryl Crow
Strong Enough, Sheryl Crow
All I Wanna Do, Sheryl Crow
Everybody is a Star, Sly and the Family Stone
Hot Fun in the Summertime, Sly ATFS
Stand! Sly ATFS
Everyday People, Sly ATFS
You Can Make It If You Try, Sly ATFS
Love's in Need of Love Today, Stevie Wonder
Knocks Me off My Feet, Stevie
Pastime Paradise, Stevie
Summer Soft, Stevie
As, Stevie
Fishin' Blues, Taj Mahal and the Pointer Sisters,
Sweet Home Chicago, Taj and the Pointers
You Ain't Much Fun, Toby Keith
Who's That Man, Toby Keith
Who's Your Daddy?, Toby Keith
I Will Always Love You, Whitney Houston
I Have Nothing, Whitney
Greatest Love of All, Whitney
the all the Al Green Greatest Hits

Whew! That was cathartic.

Maybe it's time for the child to leave home when the parent launches into a life lesson and the child finishes the sentence and the rest of the lesson verbatim.

Or when the child handles the parent, obviously trying not to be condescending and the parent thinks, "Maybe he's right..."

I've always been one who wants to know before I go. A lot of Life is, 'you'll know when you see it'. Well, I think I'm seeing that my first born is a man.

Today Lance is in the lead, wearing the yellow jersey in the Tour de France. There were some amazing points in this race: seeing how the teams rode together, seeing them ride over cobblestones in the rain in the last leg, seeing the US Postal team ride in a beautiful, geese-like formation and seeing the smiles on George Hincapie and Lance's faces when they were at the finish line.

Tyler Hamilton and the Phonak team impressed me by coming in second after losing 4 of their team members. This was the guy who won 4th place with a broken collarbone last year, so he's one to watch.

The Tour de France started yesterday and we started watching. Lanceis off to a good start, in 3rd place as of today. He is such an inspiration.

My interest in this sport has been fueled by Sweetie - just like he got me interested in Star Wars, Hockey, and The Lord of the Rings. Last year during the Tour, he was on the Bicycle Tour of Colorado but this year, he'll be in France at L'Alpe d'Huez for part of it. Yikes! My youthful overseas travel is still fresh in my mind. I hope he stays in touch with me more than I stayed in touch with my parents.

I'm happy to find out that Honey is interested in resuming his spiritual path after a short hiatus. You never know how your children are going to turn out, what path they will follow. Thankfully, our acorns fell near the tree and seem comfortable with home as a base they can depend on.

A successful action for us has been to give our kids plenty of opportunity to exercise their own self determinism. Yes, I do offer my editorial comments free of charge but for the most part, the kids have been able to craft their own lives. They have been a joy to raise and are wonderful young adults.

John Burroughs wrote:

"The lure of the distant and difficult is deceptive. The great opportunity is where you are."

I don't have a summary explanation of who John Burroughs is but a quick search brings up the fact that he was a naturalist with a great bushy beard. I have to find out about him now.

And I got the quote from a Hallmark card. That may trivialize it to some but it also brings the point home, doesn't it? How else would I have found it but in the here and now?

I have to admit I've spent much of my life waiting for the mother ship to arrive to give me a ride home. When it didn't seem to be coming anytime soon, I decided to go ahead and mate with one of the natives here and then the urge to reproduce superceeded any interstellar travel plans I had. Now that the offspring are able to care for themselves for the most part, I have all the time in the world to daydream about other worlds and utopias from the past but I found that I've lost my taste for that. I'm too interested in the host of little goldfinches dining on the bag of thistle hanging from my eave. And that huge dark blue sky south of the birds that looks like it's going to maybe cause flash flooding again. And Taj Mahal singing "Sweet Home Chicago" on my computer.

I might still accept a ride if the ship ever showed up, but then I might just tell them that I want to stick around and make this world a better place. We still haven't achieved world peace yet.

It's raining again. Maybe this is the year for the 100 year flood? Maybe not. There isn't a lot of snow left up in the mountains. The best thing that is happening is that the reservoirs are filling again.

We got our first delivery of the season from Monroe Organic Farm. This week was simply lettuce, summer squash, turnips, garlic, and new potatoes. The new potatoes will make up part of supper tonight along with some broiled porkchops.

The garden is in bloom and the Plums and Apples are little green things right now. We are in Lavender and Roses time now. And Honeysuckle like I haven't seen before in my yard. The smell is heavenly.

This year the urge to go out of town is absent, so no trips to Crestone or Glenwood Springs so far. Glenwood Springs later, when the nights get a little cooler so we can see the misty tornados rising off the water.

Still working on "Cold Mountain" and just started "Stranger in a Strange Land" (a re-read after many years). Life is good and I'm enjoying the details immensely.

The Great Pop vs Soda Controversy

We've had Seattle like weather here for the last three days. That's unheard of in Colorado. Three days of varying degrees of wetness: drizzle, showers, plain old rain, sprinkles. The weatherman hasn't started mentioning "sun breaks" in the forecast yet. We may have a few more days of wet until real sunshine comes back. The ground seems to be slurping it all up. I noticed a little pooling of water in the walkway for the first time this afternoon. The birds seemed to enjoy getting spritzed by the afternoon mizzle.

Is the Crocodile Hunter talking about penquins? Gotta see this.

A few years ago, The Boulder Planet weekly sponsored an "Eccentric Gardens" tour which was a delight. This year someone organized another one which was just about as fun.

My favorite by far was Sherry Hart's Art Farm since you could feel her heart and soul throughout. Lots of water features, lots of yard art, a garden shrine made from a bathtub turned on end and planted in the ground, chickens, an outdoor fireplace and garden sculptures fashioned from chicken wire.

George Peters (the kite maker) was my next favorite. His was the first garden I've seen to use mirrors to open up the space. The fence around the yard is a whimsical design that gave off some inspiration for our yard.

Altogether a wonderful way to celebrate our 24th anniversary!

For the last 15 years, I've taken the boys Down South to see the Folks and relax. We used to meet at the beach the week after Labor Day but then the boys had to go and start school when they were teenagers so it's hard to make that happen. So we changed it to summer visits to a more northerly (but not by much) Southern town. I crave sweetened iced tea, barbeque correctly prepared, cornbread that isn't sweet, turnip greens cooked in some kind of ham or pork, fresh farmers' market tomatoes, high humidity offset by cold air conditioner, the multisonous noises of all sorts of creepy bugs in the night air, and mostly, the feelings of "what's the rush?" and "it's all ok."

Isn't it funny how infectious asthetics are? Contagious, almost. Inspiring would be another word, I think.

I wonder about all those people who live in those near empty towns in the middle of the country in the middle of no where. Metal and some wood thrown together and roads that turn to dirt at the edge of town. They can be depressing or you can read someone like Wallace Stegner and realize that the big sky is comparable to a big beautiful cathedral to those who live there and love the area. Talk to someone who grew up there and realize it's the way the yellow straw undulates in the wind and the way the sunsets last forever and the way the thunderstorms literally fill the sky. It's simply a matter of having an interpreter.

I guess someone did get hurt when the parachuters missed the mark. A lady got some facial cuts and was taken to the hospital - no word on any other condition.

We went to the Bolder Boulder festivities today. Sweetie ran in it while Honey slept in. Sugar and I walked downtown to the stadium to see the last runners come in and the show. I felt robbed of my annual high emotional moment that accompanies the parachuters jumping into the stadium to Lee Greenwood singing "Proud to be an American". The winds were strong enough to push them a) into the crowd b) onto the bleachers c) onto a tree in the park next door! No one was hurt and they still entertained us. My moment came later when we were singing "The Star Spangled Banner" and right as we hit "The laaand of the freeeeeeeeeeee!", the fighter jets flew over with one missing. That is always a powerful sight for me.

Another powerful sight is all the runners who participate. The wheelchair racers, the disabled people, the palsied children in strollers pushed by relatives, the way out of shape people who look like they are struggling but having the time of their lives. I love all the humanity at this event.

Ok, ok, ok. I love Fantasia Barrino!! She won me over with her early performance of "Something to Talk About" which, by the way, is here - click on the performance video list then scroll down to her name. I gotta say, I think the last girl she competed against has a powerhouse voice but when she sang the "Idol single", I didn't know what she was saying. With Fantasia, I could understand the words and the meaning and the full message.
Yes, "ART is a word which summarizes THE QUALITY OF COMMUNICATION." and she really delivers her art.

Well, ok. I did start volunteering at our local food bank again. Years ago, I worked in their warehouse a few times, went to the cannery a few times and worked in the garden raising food for other people. One day I stood up from weeding, looked around and thought, "Where are all the people I'm doing this work for? Why are they not out here helping me help them?". I put the trowel down and stopped showing up.

Years roll by and the nagging feeling remains that the help we can offer people in the way of education, drug rehab and general counseling isn't possible unless people are well fed. Hungry people have a hard time accepting advice and direction. So here I am back again helping people get their food. It's more symbolic than necessary in this affluent town, I imagine, but still, it's a contribution.

A few years ago, a man stopped me in the grocery store parking lot asking for a hand out. I said I didn't have any cash (I really didn't) but offered him some food that I had in my bag. "Nah," he said. "Food's not the problem. There is so much free food in this town." I wished him luck and he went on his way.

Maybe something I do at the food bank will end up helping truly hungry people somewhere. It's a pretty congenial place to spend some time, anyway.

Does something new and different have to happen every single day? Can't we just have a couple of days when things are pretty much the same? In a good way, that is. I've noticed that the universe is a little off balance lately and I see it manifested in the odd things that people around me are doing. When it gets like this, I have to remember to be certain about my own universe rather than focus on the bumps and hiccups going on around me. This helps:

"What is true for you is what you have observed yourself and when you lose that you have lost everything."

Meanwhile, it's gorgeous in Boulder this time of year. Looks like weather for the Bolder Boulder will be cool and clear. No, no, no - I'm not going to run in it! This year we're going to walk down to Folsom Stadium through the race route and see the festivities and get some free Power Bars. Then we'll wander over to the Boulder Creek Festival. Great way to kick off the summer.

I don't understand why northern people insist on making cornbread sweet. We got some takeout from a place called "Lulu's" in Boulder and though it was touted as down home Southern cooking, the cornbread is like cake.

Here's the recipe for the best cornbread in the world, right off the Clabber Girl Double Acting Baking Powder can:

Southern Corn Bread
1/4 cup vegetable shortening
2 cups white cornmeal
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons Clabber Girl Baking Powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
2 cups buttermilk
1 egg

Cornbread was the one dish that I was taught to make by feel and sight rather than by measuring. I recall heating the oven up to about 450º, putting a spoonful of bacon grease in a small cast iron skillet and into the oven to heat up till it looked a certain way. Then take a scoop of this and a pinch of that and get it about that wet and pour it into the skillet to cook for about 20 minutes. Years after Mama died I was surprised to find her recipe so well approximated on the can of baking powder.

I tried to make cornbread in Colorado and it never turned out like I remember it, so I don't try anymore. Cracker Barrel cornbread tastes pretty good, though.

This time of year I can't get enough of after having too much of winter. Every year I think, "Next year - I have to go away for the winter." then it comes and it's ok and it goes by and then right at the end, I think, "Get me out of here! I need some green!"

I think the snow has stopped for the year and maybe we lost some fruit but it's ok. We still need the moisture and last year, the fruit trees overdid themselves a bit. The plum tree still seems to be recovering from the weight of all that sweet succulence, glad to just hold its leaves up. I heard some hummingbirds the other morning and put out the feeder but they haven't found it yet. The goldfinches found the thistle bag, though. Sweetie and I did some clearing and planted a lupine, a campanula, some sandwort, and some hollyhocks. The chamomile I seeded last fall has come up but no blooms yet. I discovered chamomile in Turkey near a big bazaar in Istanbul. The smell of apples filled the air but I couldn't see any around. I turned a corner and there it was, a huge plaza filled with little white and yellow blossoms.

Spring doesn't last long enough anywhere.

I thought I was some kind of artist till I went to see Julia Cameron speak. Something about her message woke me to the fact that I don't have any urgent message to share with the world in the form of some specific presentation. I do want to effect change, but not in the customary forms of art. That was that.

In some primitive cultures, art isn't considered a separate activity but is more infused into everyday living. Maybe that's what I've been doing - using my whole life as a form of self expression. But everybody does that, don't they? That would make us all artists in one form or another. One difference is whether or not it's done consciously, right?

I had lots of time for drawing and writing before I had kids. The last 2 decades, that same creative energy has been directed toward helping them orient to life. Homeschooling was great fun and gave me the opportunity to explore with them. Now that they are up and grown and independent, I've been looking around for some outlet to direct that energy toward. Feeding hungry people is what has my interest now.

potential trouble source: a person who is in some way connected to and being adversely affected by a suppressive person. Such a person is called a potential trouble source because he can be a lot of trouble to himself and to others.

Trouble like not getting enough sleep to be sharp and present for big projects, trouble like thinking one thing was said when another was said, trouble like ordering the supplies for the wrong store, trouble like never quite getting around to completing the projects, trouble like not quite stating the whole picture so that people know what you need. Yes, a person in that situation is aptly named. I'm glad to have a label for it -otherwise it could drive someone nuts.

We signed up with Monroe Organic Farms, a CSA farm in Northern Colorado. Long ago, when they were first starting, we were members, then dropped out for a few years of co-op ordering with other homeschoolers. We went back to Monroe a few years ago and shared the abundance. One thing I like about the Monroes is that their family has been farming organically for 3 generations (or maybe 2) - anyway, for a long time. They are real farmers on a real farm. The Harvest potluck at the farm is pretty fun, too.

When you have some kind of reaction to something but you don't know what is causing it, you can eliminate everything except something basic - like brown rice. Eat that for a few days, and let your body adjust to that. Then add some other food to see what reaction you get. Then later add something else, etc.

I've never had to do that with food since my body likes it all. But I do have to do that from time to time with people. I'm in the middle of an elimination diet as far as communication lines go. You know, if it's not working, sometimes it's just better to let it go and see what else is out there.